Cowardly Truth

 Cowardly Truth!

By: Brooke Smith

 

When you think of honesty and integrity, or even similar words in reference to a “Cowardly Act”. What exactly enters your mind? Is it a person, a place, a thing, an action, or a statement?

Webster says it means a lack in courage. Yes, I believe that as a foundation and that cowardness can resonate amongst every choice we make, every path we take, and every person we involve in it. But for someone that I hear more often than not state “I have INTEGRITY, I’m an Honest Person, and see that person talking behind that female's back that’s a coward move”. Agree?

So here is my theory and comments on the statements above:

First to say it is a lack of courage well defines courage. To me, it takes courage to sit and listen more than to speak.   It takes courage to put yourself out there as a new you or say hi to a crush, everything in life is courage. So, my vision sees it as a positive gain in self-love and growth as society sees it as a flaw one might have a negative statement towards another. For example, when looking at your odds do you say I see the glass half empty or half full. Of course, mine is half full and I don’t say it I believe it. No matter the distance I must go it will never be half empty.  That doesn’t make me more efficient or ahead or above anyone else, it just applies’ s to me and my goals and how much I know I’m worth to my life I have been given time and time again.

It can only start with you apply to you and work with you, not society or parents or friends and passersby. It is your call to believe that you deserve extreme happiness and success (however your success measures) and desires in the end. Let people offer you a cowardly remark and see it as an offer v. a negative impact. Put yourself out there and if your crush says hi back then yay! If he doesn’t know that he or she loses because you know what you have to offer. Align with your life and your life will guide you on what is good for you, not Human nature. Remember human nature is ego and life is heart!!

         Desirable chances

To desire is to crave something so deep within your soul that you’re unable to just let it flow on by. It’s possible and within reach but you just can’t physically touch it. It’s something that you know is right and much more than a want but you’re always one step behind the full effect of having it.

It starts in your mind at the beginning of your day to is just being your everyday. It is like knowing the word to say but it’s right at the tip of your tongue and you know you know it, but you begin over time to disbelieve in ever recovering it.

Where do you believe this could end up on your journey to self-healing? Is this desire of yours a real chance you begin to think your self-doubt and self-worth begin to be overrun by the over-processed analyzed thug named “EGO”!

Then only many more negative thoughts and failed attempts at ever reaching that desired just blew your chances out the door and down 2 blocks instead of one step.

This is where it becomes critical in your self-healing to notice when your ego takes its first shot at you because if you can catch it, you will be ok. But one thing is for sure, even knowing the mind’s process and the way it is wired, it is still very hard to fall into its trap time and time again.  For me, I am at the current stage of ever desiring anything in my life. I have always just gone with things naturally and if it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t. I also have never been a materialistic person so I have never just wanted things as things were not of importance therefore you can’t desire them.

Today I have finally just processed that the ego has the upper hand right now and has for a few days to a point that it saddens me to think that all the abuse I went through and from Mom and Kenny all of them words of you’ll never be anything to anyone, your worthless, your nothing, you’re not ever going to be worth anyone’s time. All those negative heavily repeated statements in my PAST become alive in my head, even in meditation just keep attaching in my thoughts my choices throughout the day and my whole energy field. My headaches are worse, my eye that was popped out is going back blurry which hadn’t happened in years, my every 13 surgeries scars are just aching, and my heart is shutting back down into numb mode. Then if it isn’t changed and if my thinking doesn’t start believing I do have a chance at my desire my solitary confinement will get stricter. I do believe I could come out of remission with Chondrosarcoma all over a matter of time if I allowed my ego to take the steering wheel. We do make ourselves ill and we very much have the power to heal our illness. That is why our thoughts and our souls’ desires cannot be dismissed as just other passersby in our lives. You can reach for whatever it is that you want in life, just remember that sometimes the things you must fight harder to get you will cherish & appreciate more when you do get them!

So don’t sell yourself short and you will always have any chance you want when your soul desires!

What in the World Another Repeat!

 

How does one person at the beginning to end of every day keep another person so wrapped up in thought even though the outcome is the same as Groundhog Day? I may have different emotional views that I react to differently but the same result no matter every angle I take and every different perspective views there is always one thing that stays the same. I'm here and he is out there somewhere, I’m alone and upset and have gained more confusion and fault by not doing a good enough job in my search. Yet every day the process gets harder as my mind is gradually getting weaker. The person I was happy with all the time has begun to be secluded and undefined. The only thing that I can figure to be of any logic is the lord and the universe are allowing this process to happen of us not finding each other and the mentality I have been developing is all for my good as it will make my move next week back home a lot easier on me. Out of sight out of mind and in a whole different city far from this one and much bigger I will have an easier ride with letting go. I never worked through the emotions of the loss of my family so this will have been another big loss for me that Could have thrown me overboard had it not played out this way. This way I slowly accepted not having him in my life, and the loss will only be of the last chapter. Next week I start my new chapter back on familiar ground, around my oldest kids my own clean house, and drama a thing I leave here. I would rather my next chapter started with our love of us, yes most definitely, but I’m going to be ok now with it not. Life has its direction and trust is trust but to believe is power. So I can only give thanks to all involved and grow into a higher spirit and a more beautiful person from what life has taught me. Never been fair but has always been right! God Bless! Love Much! Embrace Life!

                                                         Brooke Smith

Reality that Hits the Heart!

 A clear message today I received from the highest of the Spiritual Realm. As I do not hear voices or even see any shape, thing, or spirit. But I feel a pleasant pressure and warmth amongst my face and at great peace in my heart and mind. At ease and harmony perse.

I know this to be a sign for me to look within and listen to my surroundings and thoughts and notice
anything that would be out of my normal patterns and topics in thought.  So this evening after I had finally sat down my face began to get flushed and my worries I had just seconds ago  were suddenly not even in thought and so I knew I needed to open my mind  close my eyes and relax, with no intent no questions and just recognize the visuals that come in. A gold door and a man is opening it and he is in decisive to leave or go. He is in the full figure of a human but as a clouded silhouette in the distance. The door swings open to close but not as a swinging door but as one that he keeps opening and shutting it. When I figured out after a few times in repetition mode  that he was unsure to stay or go, that very second my heart went from harmony and peace to a fast drop of ulcers feeling sinking, soulless piercing with the beats of my heart. Every beat it would drop like that like an elevator when the cables have broken and you’re on floor 11.

This is when my ego steps in and strays me (but only for 30 seconds or so) to believe that the man I have fallen so in love with and searched for the past year, (my soulmate and heart’s desire) had drifted and this was telling me he had repeatedly tried  but it was time for him to go. This is an ego interview due to the negative impact of my actually really good day in a long time. Your ego is usually the worst-case scenario. But I quickly learned that and cleared my mind again, The heart emotions were I believe telling me that I needed to go to the place in my mind where I could see the realness of my heart's desire and to open my thoughts upon what exactly real love means to me at every beat and not an on and off an open shut door it’s a continuous beat and open door and never closed. The man is a blur I have not found him in my search but I noticed it was a white clouded and black silhouette so he is now visible that's what I took from that.  The words of thought entered in an instant, and out of not just a normal thought process but a thought that had never entered my mind since this journey had begun. It said:

“ Go to the place in your heart where you know real love and think on this for a few of your time then if it is him that comes he will come and if not then I would know my answer. “

So right at this moment I will raise my spiritual vibrations and clear any space that is what my mind wants it to be and allow my heart to tell me the truth. I am in fear of the possibilities of what I don’t want but I will accept them if it is the truth.

 I chose the heart chakra opening vibration at 343 Hz and laid down for 4 min. 32 seconds and I just said in thought visualizing myself at a golden door with it opened and the divine white light on the other side I stood at a distance and said please lead me to the realness of our love and the truth that the mind has forbidden me to see. At that very second my heart went to that piercing feeling but at consistent motion and not by beat. With it on its own, it is actually a great excitement feeling and not as negative as the first response.

Then there is a particular tone to the truck that makes my heart race. If it is him or not, I don’t know but for some reason, my heart just gets so thrilled to hear this tone.  And with those two responses together I’m still at a positive feeling and then all of a sudden my heart just goes as a dull bored normal beat feeling as if all the excitement seconds ago never happened.  So this leads me to believe that it is time to wait and see what happens. It’s time for my inner emotions and  subconsciousness to process my reality and my answer will be in front of me or  my chapter on this is ending and time for the next part of my spiritual self-loving journey. 

I end with these words from the heart:

Only you know the steps you walk and the amount it measures up to be,

Has it taken its toll on your life or is worth every penny to be able to stand and fight.

It is hard for us to accept just how hard life can hit us when we want in our mind

so much opposite of what is best.

 If you can face that fear of knowing both paths are possible,

 And be open that either way you will still do and have great things to come

Believe in what comes naturally.

Never question the emotions but reject the thoughts that follow,

 Then the real courage is to love everything about what’s so accepting in your heart

And let life flow. Embrace yourself and get up close and personal with your vibrations of vibrancy

And accuracy with the illusions only in the dreams that pass!

In the name of Jesus Christ, I say Thank God and Thank You,

Brooke Smith

Living for today

 Living for Today or Living in the Moment!

By: Brooke Smith

 

You hear on social media sites and videos across the web to focus and live in the moment or do they say live for today? Have you ever questioned those two statements? Have you ever asked yourself, “Well which one is right for today or the moment? Most of the population has never questioned this, merely for reasons of believing they have the same definition as the moment is today.

Meanings of:

Ø Living for today: to enjoy what’s happening now and choosing to live for today, one day at a time, and leaving the past in the past and the future in the future.

Ø Living in the Moment: When you are fully aware of your emotions and ability to be present with a clear understanding of your surroundings and current thoughts and are not pointed towards the past or future.

So to me, they don’t go hand in hand but contradict each other saying no live for the whole day that will manifest prosperity and abundance and miracles, Right? Other says no live for the moment and open the third eye to see your gifts and love and money will be magnitude towards you, Right?

Well now here is my story. I have been challenged in every way that it means when the word FOCUS has a leading role. I can focus if I have clear directions and an expected outcome in whatever the focus point is directed at. Without those two I begin my direction (which is usually wrong) and my search engine google, which always pops up first, no matter my problem “ I’m Dying” So searching for an answer and finding out there are now frequencies and vibrations and meditation and energy and on and on… I began to get confused, irritated, then went my focus out the front door, and subconsciously rebuking it from ever returning to the particular situation I needed to focus on.

For the past 6 months, I have been on this belief of mine, that if I finished the belief to full awareness I would be greatly rewarded with the one thing I haven’t ever had, True Love. I awoke one day to a heart that was drawn to a specific vehicle and then the feeling of an open heart that was drawn to a man I had never met or seen no name not sure if that vehicle is even right I just know the sound of it that makes my stomach in knots and then my rapid heart beat then the dreadful hot flashes to the vibration all over. I know what you're thinking there is no way she was falling in love she was so numb to that part of emotional baggage. Well, I did! It’s true! But the things I was envisioning were much like a Nintendo game and when you didn’t stay focused you restarted as if you lost your life and it got harder the more I rejected it or tried to shortcut it. Wow, where do you think my focus is now in consciousness? Cross Country if it was smart, I'm angered now. I like direction and knowing which is the control part of me that’s a high-demand trait I have. I am by the 6 months head over heels in love I have secluded myself left the responsibility of daily life out in the back with the dogs for a chew toy and allowed myself to only think of how to defeat this damn game correctly and quickly. My life has completely crumbled due to my irresponsibility in adulthood and I am an emotional rollercoaster causing nothing more but more drawn-out discomfort for all.

This now leads to the beginning question; do I live for today or live for the moment? What is the goal here and do I sleep and reset tomorrow even though the game hasn’t or do I relax and take a break and continue the game with no expectation? How do I focus when the desire is so real and so needed at this point and just be present?

Believing is the first thing and forgetting is the second, then your mind can relax and just watch the game flow on its own. Easier typed than done. But today on January 3, 2024, I believe it is finally Game Over. My love is real and the game I appreciated, and my mind is at ease. I do believe my reward is coming but he isn’t a shelve award he is the gift I intend to share with the world of a life full of happiness and love for every moment of every day with a great future expected and a past full of happy memories pass to all other people so they can see and experience the happiness and love in their lives!

Accept- then- Act: Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it not against it, Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy,

To be or Not to be?

                                  To Be or Not to Be?

Who says I act that, Way?

By: Brooke Smith

When someone says to you statements like these, “Stop acting that way that’s wrong, or You should act more mature, you act like your mother”.  What is it that you believe that there correct about your individual actions. Or what is it that makes you not believe in your own way of life and dictate that theirs is better or more efficient to society? Could it not be that maybe they lack areas that you are proficient in and the only other way to fill their void is to push derogatory statements against you so they’re not inside their heads dealing with themselves. Could that be one possibility?

My whole 41 years of life, now (43 years) I have catered to how people thought I should act or how I should be filtered in my choice of words. (These are not bad words I just am firm on what I want out of life for the first time. Strength can be intimidating to another passerby). It is much easier, especially with ones that have insecurities to deter whatever traits you excel in to give a higher justified complex within them. I will add that doesn’t make them wrong by no means either. Thats the focus of this journey is for one to understand that what doesn’t work in another’s life might be in yours. Your norm may not be their norm, what is a good characteristic to you may not work as well in another’s. So, see the pattern. We are all individually owned and operated, and we only have one way to live and that’s for ourselves no matter how selfish it sounds at the end of the day you must be aligned and happy to help others to gain their paths that energy healing and the gift knowledge we should share. So instead of saying in return “Ya, well I’m rubber your glue quote to them. Be more open-minded about their situation and pay them a natural compliment back or offer advice on anything that deters you and back upon them in a healthy way positive way then maybe you both have an equal win! So do you choose to be or not to be happy and spread that smile as much as you can? Be Kind, and Embrace Life!

Programmed Percept: Judged or not to be Judged

 Programmed Perceptions: To Be Judged or Not to be Judged

My belief in the past 4 years is nothing it used to be. Every day I wake up and I have a head change in my whole outlook on life, and on people, my heart is softer, and I strive more and more to see the good in people. To be aware of my conscious so I can choose my words accordingly. To give a damn about someone’s day and make their bad ones gone. That is Unique within itself but if you at all know me you know I speak only of truth. And just how rare I am! That statement is not cocky or conceded it’s a statement coming from a long history of dramatic abuse and hardship and it’s taking 4 years and the death of my family to say that today I believe in myself, and I believe in life.

In speaking what I used to see as religious beliefs are now my spiritual beliefs and I say this because I believe we all no matter the religion our sex what has happened or choices we have made have a fair shot at gaining in Jesus' eyes. People are so political in their religiousness that it is shying the young from believing and it’s become a rat race that the older are not joining.  What has happened to be going for you and you alone to learn from a picture that taught the bible with no pressure and the holy ghost filled you with every word? That is the difference between being a spiritual person and a religious person. Jesus is my savior God did define us and Heaven is our home. But society has programmed us to see other ways amongst each other that being out in public to smile at someone or hold a door open is a thought of why would they do that or what her problem or any other derogatory thought that jumps in the mind. It’s not their fault it’s the way life has dragged us there. I bring this up for one reason and that is Spiritual Gifts! I’m not speaking of let’s predict the future or I see dead people. I speak of Intuitive Gifts and the energy field, the premonition, and your pattern.  A spiritual realm that I have not found anything in schoolbooks or Google that speaks of this stuff, and it happens to me daily.  Here comes the prejudged or not-to-be-judged thoughts that we automatically think without even knowing one’s lifeline, story, etc.

Which is okay I am not here to tell you or convince you of any way to feel or think or believe, I’m just simply here to tell my story in hopes it can help someone find their path or to simply just believe. This also is the first time I will speak of this as I was afraid of people’s thoughts. But like I said earlier, every day is a greater stronger head change, and my wisdom strengthens, and my life goes uphill, and I am a better person.

After Mom died I kind of was feeling and hearing things my observations were widened but of course, she died 4 days after I left so I took on the guilt and homeless in South Georgia that I thought I was going through a mental Breakdown. I have gone Crazy. Then 2 years later Dad Died and well stuff gets weird from there. First being full-blown with Chondral Sarcoma and a Vascular Blood Clot to only 6 months of chemo and radiation the Dr. previously said I had no chance due to the blood clot being around the tumor and its bone cancer they said it the size of a pea We can remove it. Here it is 4 years later have never gone back to a dr. and I’m as healthy as ever. That's weird, right? No, that the great Lord saying you need to be here and do something with yourself is what I heard. How many surgeries and beatings did my ex and I survive when I never should have made it off that mountain? After Tim died, Mom, Dad, Robby, and Michael, I had premonitions about their deaths all 30 days prior and spoke about them how I could feel it in my bones I was scared and that is something just don’t ever have to show is fear. Fear of what is going to Jesus, Amen. But Dad was the only one who listened, but no one ever believes when you speak of stuff like this. It's weird I get that I still somedays I say, WTF! Are you for real! Literally! People are always so quick to pass judgment and feel courageous but to me, the real courage is to sit and listen.  What is normal to me does not have to be normal to you, but it also does not make either right or wrong. That's the key here we are all individuals and built to do with what tools we developed and utilize them in our ways. Just as we all have paths chosen and our God is Our God, but he defines us individually because we are not the same in any way. In today’s time, people just can’t grasp a hold of either yes or no or my way your way. In my world, I have so much knowledge in so many areas, but I also have come to know I don’t know everything, and I am open to all other perspectives because they are different view that works in a different way of life than mine.  I also have so many talents that I have always had just never put them out there. Writing is about inspiring others and art and singing and so on and on. My G.P.A. in Psychology was a 3.3 in law school is a 3.66 and I have never opened a lecture book. That kind of stuff doesn’t just happen by chance.  The mounds of life stories I get from my trip to Wal-Mart and every one of them will say I’m drawn to you, or I don’t know why I just told you that I have never told anyone. All I do is use my ethical upbringing like smile excuse me or move out of someone’s way. It never fails I’ll get a story or two before I can get out of there. No matter the situation that person is in I always have the right words and most times be like “Where the hell did that come from? That sounded Smart!” All of that isn’t just by chance.

Now I will tell you a part where my intuitive side kicks in I have been meditating and applying in a way that I, yes me can quiet my mind. In the past two days, my whole demeanor has gone from a Monster emotional roller coaster to a downsized kiddy coaster. I have finally been able to not be numb and feel the emotions and energies vibrate within me. When it is over my aura changes because I just glow. I’m more in tune with how I feel and what is around me. My hearing vision taste and knowing are at a level that’s neat if you fully understand the reality of it and not what Google said it to be.  I used to get itchy. Everything would irritate me like my hair tickling the back of my neck or my nose itching. I have now realized that when that happens it means something important soon is going to happen. So now that I’m in tune with that it still happens but I don’t act like a basket case beating and pulling my hair for it simply just laying on my neck.

Now what I haven’t reached yet is the reasoning but like I said it will happen soon so I’ll find out.

 Second, my taste goes to a sour taste on Dr. Pepper on my own saliva. I used to panic and be like oh no I have COVID but in reality, it means that I’m about to have something out of my norm happen if the taste changes quickly then it means I adapt very well, and if it doesn’t then I am most likely going to resist the change.

Third is the pain in my feet or at any of my 13 surgery spots start to get so bad that I literally almost feel paralyzed a sheet touching them will be so painful.  Now this has only happened about 5 times and each time was the death date of my family. So I assume that they are connected.

Recently I have had full-day premonitions I could tell you exactly what you were going to say and what we would be doing but I wasn’t able to see my end results of the day only whoever was involved. Then there are the visions in the beginning I see energies all around it could be pitch dark and I will see the rainbow oil spills like when you see the hot sun glare off the oil on the pavement. To know I can make out faces but that’s about it. Most I have never seen a day in my life, and they will form in curtains and in the grass I don’t see them fully like a very faded cloud, and they are not just walking around and sometimes letters or numbers will come with them but I tell everybody Wheel of fortune was not my favorite game to watch. I usually can’t make out what it says. I know what you might be thinking wtf is she on. I get it. But again anyone who has even met me for a second would see I’m very level-headed well minded and not on any kind of drug or alcohol. I went through drinking almost 8 years ago and never desired to pick it up again. It is a lot to take in but I had a strong sense that it was time to tell and when I tell a story you know I can't abbreviate it I will detail it out to the end.