Programmed Percept: Judged or not to be Judged

 Programmed Perceptions: To Be Judged or Not to be Judged

My belief in the past 4 years is nothing it used to be. Every day I wake up and I have a head change in my whole outlook on life, and on people, my heart is softer, and I strive more and more to see the good in people. To be aware of my conscious so I can choose my words accordingly. To give a damn about someone’s day and make their bad ones gone. That is Unique within itself but if you at all know me you know I speak only of truth. And just how rare I am! That statement is not cocky or conceded it’s a statement coming from a long history of dramatic abuse and hardship and it’s taking 4 years and the death of my family to say that today I believe in myself, and I believe in life.

In speaking what I used to see as religious beliefs are now my spiritual beliefs and I say this because I believe we all no matter the religion our sex what has happened or choices we have made have a fair shot at gaining in Jesus' eyes. People are so political in their religiousness that it is shying the young from believing and it’s become a rat race that the older are not joining.  What has happened to be going for you and you alone to learn from a picture that taught the bible with no pressure and the holy ghost filled you with every word? That is the difference between being a spiritual person and a religious person. Jesus is my savior God did define us and Heaven is our home. But society has programmed us to see other ways amongst each other that being out in public to smile at someone or hold a door open is a thought of why would they do that or what her problem or any other derogatory thought that jumps in the mind. It’s not their fault it’s the way life has dragged us there. I bring this up for one reason and that is Spiritual Gifts! I’m not speaking of let’s predict the future or I see dead people. I speak of Intuitive Gifts and the energy field, the premonition, and your pattern.  A spiritual realm that I have not found anything in schoolbooks or Google that speaks of this stuff, and it happens to me daily.  Here comes the prejudged or not-to-be-judged thoughts that we automatically think without even knowing one’s lifeline, story, etc.

Which is okay I am not here to tell you or convince you of any way to feel or think or believe, I’m just simply here to tell my story in hopes it can help someone find their path or to simply just believe. This also is the first time I will speak of this as I was afraid of people’s thoughts. But like I said earlier, every day is a greater stronger head change, and my wisdom strengthens, and my life goes uphill, and I am a better person.

After Mom died I kind of was feeling and hearing things my observations were widened but of course, she died 4 days after I left so I took on the guilt and homeless in South Georgia that I thought I was going through a mental Breakdown. I have gone Crazy. Then 2 years later Dad Died and well stuff gets weird from there. First being full-blown with Chondral Sarcoma and a Vascular Blood Clot to only 6 months of chemo and radiation the Dr. previously said I had no chance due to the blood clot being around the tumor and its bone cancer they said it the size of a pea We can remove it. Here it is 4 years later have never gone back to a dr. and I’m as healthy as ever. That's weird, right? No, that the great Lord saying you need to be here and do something with yourself is what I heard. How many surgeries and beatings did my ex and I survive when I never should have made it off that mountain? After Tim died, Mom, Dad, Robby, and Michael, I had premonitions about their deaths all 30 days prior and spoke about them how I could feel it in my bones I was scared and that is something just don’t ever have to show is fear. Fear of what is going to Jesus, Amen. But Dad was the only one who listened, but no one ever believes when you speak of stuff like this. It's weird I get that I still somedays I say, WTF! Are you for real! Literally! People are always so quick to pass judgment and feel courageous but to me, the real courage is to sit and listen.  What is normal to me does not have to be normal to you, but it also does not make either right or wrong. That's the key here we are all individuals and built to do with what tools we developed and utilize them in our ways. Just as we all have paths chosen and our God is Our God, but he defines us individually because we are not the same in any way. In today’s time, people just can’t grasp a hold of either yes or no or my way your way. In my world, I have so much knowledge in so many areas, but I also have come to know I don’t know everything, and I am open to all other perspectives because they are different view that works in a different way of life than mine.  I also have so many talents that I have always had just never put them out there. Writing is about inspiring others and art and singing and so on and on. My G.P.A. in Psychology was a 3.3 in law school is a 3.66 and I have never opened a lecture book. That kind of stuff doesn’t just happen by chance.  The mounds of life stories I get from my trip to Wal-Mart and every one of them will say I’m drawn to you, or I don’t know why I just told you that I have never told anyone. All I do is use my ethical upbringing like smile excuse me or move out of someone’s way. It never fails I’ll get a story or two before I can get out of there. No matter the situation that person is in I always have the right words and most times be like “Where the hell did that come from? That sounded Smart!” All of that isn’t just by chance.

Now I will tell you a part where my intuitive side kicks in I have been meditating and applying in a way that I, yes me can quiet my mind. In the past two days, my whole demeanor has gone from a Monster emotional roller coaster to a downsized kiddy coaster. I have finally been able to not be numb and feel the emotions and energies vibrate within me. When it is over my aura changes because I just glow. I’m more in tune with how I feel and what is around me. My hearing vision taste and knowing are at a level that’s neat if you fully understand the reality of it and not what Google said it to be.  I used to get itchy. Everything would irritate me like my hair tickling the back of my neck or my nose itching. I have now realized that when that happens it means something important soon is going to happen. So now that I’m in tune with that it still happens but I don’t act like a basket case beating and pulling my hair for it simply just laying on my neck.

Now what I haven’t reached yet is the reasoning but like I said it will happen soon so I’ll find out.

 Second, my taste goes to a sour taste on Dr. Pepper on my own saliva. I used to panic and be like oh no I have COVID but in reality, it means that I’m about to have something out of my norm happen if the taste changes quickly then it means I adapt very well, and if it doesn’t then I am most likely going to resist the change.

Third is the pain in my feet or at any of my 13 surgery spots start to get so bad that I literally almost feel paralyzed a sheet touching them will be so painful.  Now this has only happened about 5 times and each time was the death date of my family. So I assume that they are connected.

Recently I have had full-day premonitions I could tell you exactly what you were going to say and what we would be doing but I wasn’t able to see my end results of the day only whoever was involved. Then there are the visions in the beginning I see energies all around it could be pitch dark and I will see the rainbow oil spills like when you see the hot sun glare off the oil on the pavement. To know I can make out faces but that’s about it. Most I have never seen a day in my life, and they will form in curtains and in the grass I don’t see them fully like a very faded cloud, and they are not just walking around and sometimes letters or numbers will come with them but I tell everybody Wheel of fortune was not my favorite game to watch. I usually can’t make out what it says. I know what you might be thinking wtf is she on. I get it. But again anyone who has even met me for a second would see I’m very level-headed well minded and not on any kind of drug or alcohol. I went through drinking almost 8 years ago and never desired to pick it up again. It is a lot to take in but I had a strong sense that it was time to tell and when I tell a story you know I can't abbreviate it I will detail it out to the end.